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The 30 Best Dorkly Comics of 2017

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Welcome to the end of the unyielding shit vortex that was 2017! Unless you did nothing but play video games indoors for all year (if so, bless you), you probably got a little stressed out from time to time. So come with us and relax -- let's look back at the highlights of Dorkly's daily webcomics.

We could have picked the comics that made us laugh the most or the ones that made us feel proud, but instead we decided to list the comics that got the most traffic! As you read through dozens of comics, just remember: You did this. 


30. What It Feels Like To Be an Xbox One Owner Right Now

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29. How "Cards Against Humanity" Destroys Friendships

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28. RPG Quests You'll Embark On In Every Adventure

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27. Nerdy Relationships: Movies VS Real Life

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26. The Secret Pokemon Doesn't Want You To Know

The Secret Pokemon Doesn't Want You To Know

25. What Healing Your Pokemon Party During A Battle Looks Like

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What Healing Your Pokemon Party During A Battle Looks Like



24. What Your Favorite Movie Director Says About YOU

dorkly comic movie director andy kluthe steven spielberg



23. 5 Ways You Play Videogames Just Like You Make Love

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22. Game of Thrones Characters: Then vs. Now

Game of Thrones Characters: Then vs. Now


21. 4 Questions I Still Have About The Fifth Element

Questions I Still Have About The Fifth Element




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20. Lord of the Rings: Books Vs. Movies

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19. The Biggest Reveal in Pokemon Sun and Moon

Pokemon Sun Playthrough - Episode 16 + 17




18. 4 Questions I Still Have About Dragon Ball Z

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17. 4 Questions I Still Have About The Little Mermaid

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4 Questions I Still Have About The Little Mermaid



16. 4 Questions I Still Have About Game of Thrones

Questions I Still Have About Game of Thrones




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17. 4 Questions I Still Have About Jurassic Park

Questions I Still Have About Jurassic Park



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16. When Overwatch Characters Discover Their Fan Art

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15. What It's Like When You're a Single Nerd

What It's Like When You're a Single Nerd



14. Gaming Professions: Then vs Now

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Gaming Professions: Then vs Now



13. The Problem With Pennywise Targeting Adolescent Boys

The Problem With Pennywise Targeting Adolescent Boys



12. Trying to Date When You're a Nerd

Trying to Date When You're a Nerd



11. YouTube vs. Twitch.tv

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YouTube vs. Twitch.tv

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10. 4 Questions I Still Have About Zootopia

Questions I Still Have About Zootopia




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9. 5 Movie Tropes That Need To Die

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8. 6 RPG Tropes That Need to Die

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7. Skyrim Vs. Zelda: Breath of the Wild

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6. Zelda: Breath of the Wild - Beginning VS. End

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5. 4 Questions I Still Have About Beauty And The Beast

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Questions I Still Have About Beauty And The Beast



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4. Unhealthy Nerdy Relationships VS Healthy Nerdy Relationships

Unhealthy Nerdy Relationships VS Healthy Nerdy Relationships



3. Zelda Games: Ocarina of Time vs. Breath of the Wild

Zelda Games: Ocarina of Time vs. Breath of the Wild



2. Questions I Still Have About Star Wars

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1. If Relationships Were More Like Video Games

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14 Times Keanu Reeves Brought Pure Angelic Light To Tumblr

The 20 Best Xbox One Games Ever

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20. Gears of War 4

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Taking place 25 years after the conclusion of the third game, Gears of War 4 puts you in the boots belonging to the son of the eternally bandana'd Marcus Fenix. Much like his father before him, JD joined the local space marine outfit. But unlike his father, JD fighting "aliens" called the Swarm and not the Locust. Gameplay this time around is still the same run, gun, and cover style from the previous trilogy with some added flair like new weapons and a weather system that can change up how a battle is fought. If you're in the mood for multiplayer, the classic horde mode is still here along with plenty of player versus player modes.


19. Dance Central Spotlight

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The Dance Central series was a definite highlight of the Xbox 360's original Kinect lineup. These dance titles were easy enough to get into and had a variety of minigames and even a story mode to keep you entertained. Spotlight removes those but keeps the core gameplay intact with improved tutorial modes and improved tracking thanks to the Xbox One's new Kinect. Though at this point, Microsoft has discontinued the Kinect, if you have one or are able to find one, this title should not be forgotten.


18. Stardew Valley

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There's a lot of games on this lineup that involve you mowing down waves of enemies with some kind of projectile and sometimes you just need to get away from it all. Maybe settle down in a nice town far away from everything. Maybe grow some crops and raise some livestock. Maybe meet someone special and have some kids. Maybe help a wizard investigate the weird sprites that inhabit the rundown town hall. Stardew Valley is relaxing and rewarding allowing you to take things at your own pace which is maybe why I have over 150 hours played in it.


17. Super Lucky's Tale

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2017 felt like a return to the traditional 3D platformer. With games like Yooka-Laylee, A Hat In Time, and even Super Mario Odyssey, the colorful genre has made a strong comeback. Super Lucky's Tale started life as Lucky's Tale on the Oculus Rift and was reworked for the Xbox One. You take control of Lucky, a spritely little fox who is trying to help his sister recover the Book of Ages from the mysterious villain Jinx. It can be easy to overlook a game like this but if you're itching for something colorful and cute with challenges suited for players of all skill levels, definitely check this out


16. Forza Horizon 3

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Many cars, many races, open world, multiplayer, Forza Horizon 3 has a whole lot if you're a fan of racing games. Featuring 350 cars and plenty of downloadable content to keep you busy for quite some time, there was even an expansion that added Hot Wheels tracks (and a car from Final Fantasy XV) to the game.


15. Rare Replay

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Only missing Goldeneye and obviously the Donkey Kong Country series due to licensing issues, Rare Replay is a value simply based on how many games you get. While there are some games in the collection you can skip (the earlier ZX Spectrum titles and Perfect Dark Zero), there's plenty to dig into like the Banjo-Kazooie series, Blast Corps, and Viva Pinata. Who needs Goldeneye when you've got the Perfect Dark remaster! Which you can still play with 4-player splitscreen by the way.


14. Sunset Overdrive

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The most extreme energy drink commercial you've ever seen combined with the wild weapons, rail grinding and shooting of Ratchet & Clank, fused with the open world zombie killing of a Dead Rising, Sunset Overdrive was the first Insomniac Games project not be to a Playstation exclusive. The main campaign has plenty of side quests and upgrades to keep you interested for a while and on top of that, there's Chaos Squad, a series of co-op missions to play along with with up to 7 players.


13. PLAYERUNKNOWN's Battlegrounds

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One of the most highly talked-about PC games of the year makes it's console debut on the Xbox One. 100 players parachute into an island, race around searching for weapons and armor, and must outwit and survive against each other as they battle for the number one spot. But you must be wary, as you can't doddle for too long as a playzone beings to contract forcing players to the center making the battle even tenser. If you make it to the number one spot, you're presented with a delicious chicken dinner.

Well, not really, just the immense satisfaction of coming out on top and some in-game currency to outfit your avatar in new clothes.


12. Halo: The Master Chief Collection

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Marred by many a technical problem upon launch, The Master Chief finally came around eventually and should be a definite grab for first person shooter fans. Containing the first 4 Halo games, including all the campaigns and maps of each game so you can relive the excitement of running over someone with the Warthog and the horror of running from The Flood in the library. If you're feeling even more nostalgic, The Master Chief Collection includes LAN support so you and a group of friends can bring your Xboxes and TVs to one room and pretend like it's 2003 again.


11. For Honor

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The premise of For Honor feels like an argument I had when I was 13-years-old. Who would win between Vikings, Knights, and Samurai? Ubisoft aimed to answer this question with their interesting fighting game that pits these three factions against each other. With a badass story mode and plenty of multiplayer with additional downloadable content, if you're looking for something a little different, For Honor is something to keep your eye on.

10. D4: Dark Dreams Don't Die

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Though it was never finished, D4 is one of the most interesting games to grace the Xbox One's library. Created by the man behind Deadly Premonition, Swery65, Dark Dreams Don't Die is a bizarre episodic adventure game following a private investigator named David Young whose wife has been murdered and he wants to find out how.

This all sounds fairly boilerplate for a detective story, but David is unable to recall the memories surrounding the event but has gained the ability to travel through time when he finds certain objects. Beyond that, there's plenty of that Swery65 unique weirdness to be found like David's roommate, a woman who acts like a cat, or the spiral horn haired fashion designer Duncan and his mannequin with the exact same haircut. It's a strange game but something to definitely be experienced.


9. Rise of the Tomb Raider

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The reboot of the Tomb Raider reimagined Lara Croft as a more well-rounded and more real character than her previous incarnation. Her short shorts were replaced actual pants someone would wear to go rock climbing and spelunking, and her character was designed to look like an actual human being. Everything about the gameplay and story was improved over its predecessors with the trend continuing with the sequel, Rise of the Tomb Raider. After dealing with the supernatural events and violence of the previous game, Lara now attempts to follow in her late father's footsteps.

8. The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt

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Do you have 1000 hours to play an epic RPG based on a series of Polish fantasy novels about a white haired hunk who hunts monsters? You'd better because The Witcher 3 is considered to be one of the most well written games of all time. And don't worry about not having played the first two games, Wild Hunt will catch you up on the story. This open world third-person RPG is huge with plenty of monsters to hunt, quests to complete, weapons to use, gold to find, and card games to play.


7. Slime Rancher

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There's a not a whole lot out there in terms of farming games. Sure you have your Harvest Moons and Stardew Valley, but what if you want something different? Well, in comes Slime Rancher, and no, it is not an offshoot of the long lost Tecmo series, Monster Rancher.

Slime Rancher is an extremely adorable first person farming game where you play as Beatrix LeBeau wielding her handy vacuum backpack, simply named the Vacpack. You are tasked with finding, raising, breeding all different kinds of slimes while adventuring out in the wilderness and growing crops to feed your hungry and growing family of slimes so they can produce plorts. You then sell those plorts to upgrade your ranch and Vacpack to use to raise more slimes to get more plorts! PLORTS!


6. Rocket League

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Have you ever wanted to drive a rocket powered car into another rocket powered car so fast that the other car explodes? Have you ever wanted to make a rocket powered car do a backflip? Do you enjoy soccer? Then Rocket League is right up your alley. Since the game was released in 2015, there has been plenty of game modes added; from basketball to ice hockey and a mode with special power-ups. To sweeten the deal, if you play on Xbox One, you can even battle online with players on PC and Nintendo Switch.


5. SUPERHOT

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SUPERHOT is the most innovative shooter I've played in years. The game only moves when you do. When you walk or run, when you shoot, the game time progresses. No other game feels as fulfilling as when you punch the gun out of a enemy's hands, pick up that gun out of the air, shoot said enemy in the face, shoot the guy behind them, throw the gun at another enemy stunning them, pick up a katana and proceed to slice up anyone else around you. After all is said and done and you've completed a level, you're rewarded with watching everything in regular motion. SUPERHOT is not a game to be missed.

4. Killer Instinct

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Killer Instinct (2013) had a lot going against it when it was first announced. A free-to-play Xbox exclusive from a studio, Double Helix, not known for making quality games. But fears were assuaged upon release. The game is welcoming enough for newcomers, with an in-depth tutorial system, while having enough for hardcore players.

Making the game a free download with season packs to buy makes a lot easier to bring people into the fold. It even keeps the same spirit and energy of the original KI games with the wild combos and an announcer screaming his lungs out.


3. Dead Rising 4

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Hailed as a hero at the end of Dead Rising 1, Frank West has been reduced to hiding out under an alias teaching photography classes at a night school. He's approached by a government agent when a former student of his is seen sneaking at the site of the original game's setting, Willamette Mall. Frank now has to find out why the zombies have returned and to find his former pupil.

Dead Rising 4 streamlines a lot of the gameplay elements of the series; making weapon combining doable on the fly, no more timers, and escort missions reduced to just rescuing civilians. The series has had co-op multiplayer before, but this time you play as one of four characters with their own skill tree separate from the main game. If you're looking for a good zombie killing game, you can't go wrong with this one.


2. Cuphead

The 20 Best Xbox ></p><p dir=The beautifully animated and mega hard Cuphead was first revealed at E3 2015 and was originally just going to be a series of boss fights but was later retooled after feedback to have an overworld and platforming levels. After disobeying the Elder Kettle, Cuphead and Mugman are on a roll gambling at the Devil's Casino and challenged by the villainous King Dice and The Devil himself. After losing, the boys plead and strike a deal to retrieve soul contracts from others who have lost to The Devil.

The soul contracts are the bosses you fight, each a unique and interesting battle and design with such characters as a pair of boxer frogs, a crescent moon, a giant bee with a moustache, and even a giant robot! While the game is known for its difficulty, it's nowhere close to impossible and feels great to learn the patterns. There's even a two-player mode that alleviates some of the difficulty by making it possible to revive your partner, plus it's always more fun to tackle something arduous with a friend.

1. Titanfall 2

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The original Titanfall was a fine enough game, though very slim in it's presentation. With no real story mode to speak of the multiplayer tried to make up for it but just wasn't enough. Titanfall 2 on the other hand has one of the best single player first person shooter stories on the market. While the first game only had 3 Titans to speak of, the sequel added 3 more to the base game with another coming from downloadable content. And to sweeten the deal even more, all the DLC is free and any paid DLC is for skins for the Titans. The game has plenty to offer with it's single player, multiplayer, and the recently added wave-based horde mode.



5 Classic Video Game Weaknesses, Psychoanalyzed

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As long as there have been video games, there have been protagonists. And yet, these heroes cannot stand alone: without the obstacles which define them, they are little more than collections of pixels, imbued with neither bravery nor resolve. Much as New York is herself a player in classic film, the hurdles faced by our friends Mario, the Toad, and Donkey Kong are characters themselves, tailored to test our heroes' specific skills.

We speak here not of the Goomba, the Met, the Octorok -- these foes have already been rehabilitated to some degree, granted the legitimacy to appear in kart racing and sports spinoffs. No, today we examine obstacles -- spikes, pits, molten lava, and so on -- and give them their due as the devices which inspire our cherished champions to the heights of greatness.


Spikes, the everpresent threat of instant death

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Ah, the humble spike. Whether adorning a floor or descending from the ceiling, these acute accoutrements dot the worlds of nearly all classic video games. To some protagonists, they are a mere annoyance, while to others -- most notably the so-called "blue bomber" Mega Man, they are the obstacle par excellence. Mega Man's learned foe Dr. Wily deploys these deadly protuberances to great effect in his endless efforts to stymie the meddling of his nemesis.

But why these barbed booby traps in particular? The layman might point -- pardon the pun -- to the clearly hazardous silhouette of the spike. He might argue that the video games of yesteryear benefited from, and perhaps even required visual parsimony. That is, the ability to quickly convey information about the nature of the wondrous digital world the player found himself in. Alas, we cannot be satisfied with such obvious explanations. We must dig deeper.

Who is Mega Man? He is a robot, yes, a robot constructed for peace who finds himself thrust into battle. And what defines him? Unlike many heroes of the day -- our Marios, our Bill Rizers -- he is capable of weathering a great many blows from his enemies. And he wields a gun. Much like the archetypal Western hero, he is the master of his domain. And yet all of his endurance, his skill with the Mega Buster cannot protect him against one thing: the humble sharpened spike, which instantly discorporates him.

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It is precisely the fear of penetration which undoes Mega Man, who after all displays his proud masculinity in his very name. To Mario, a humble plumber secure in his sexual being, the spike is merely a spike. But to the Man named Mega, it represents an intrusion into the body, a loss of control, a relinquishing of power inextricably associated with the feminine that jeopardizes the integrity of the self. It cannot be conceived of. And so Wily must be defeated and punished for daring to challenge the Mega Man. The normative family of Mega Man, Roll, and Dr. Light must prevail.


Bottomless Pits, the unconquerable void

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Pits. Gaps. Holes. Are we to imagine that these lacunae are bottomless, dooming an unsteady hero to an eternal descent? Or else are they simply written off once having exited the field of the screen, a sly commentary on the viewer's childlike lack of object permanence? Regardless, pits are one of the most iconic obstacles in classic video games.

To wit: shortly after the initial encounter with the humble Goomba in Super Mario Brothers the First, the player is confronted with a hole in the terrain. Where there was land, there is not. How mysterious! Should the player give in to his l'appel du vide, he will hear those tones -- which will soon become all too familiar -- indicating that he has slipped up, committed a foul. A life has been lost. Mario must begin again.

Who does not fear the hole in the world? Certainly all of our protagonists locked into a side-scrolling perspective do: the aforementioned plumber, the Kong, the Mega Man, the hedgehog, and so on. Even Link, the Hero of Hyrule, traditionally controlled from an aerial perspective, is not immune. The holes scattered throughout the many dungeons Link explores will sap his precious hearts just the same as any of his foes should he find himself disappearing down into their murky depths.

And yet. And yet. There is one hero who is immune to this hazard. Let us investigate the case of Samus Aran: a human, and yet a machine. Powerful, yet vulnerable. Appearing on the world historical stage, Samus upended the patriarchal associations between the heroic and the masculine. Perhaps then it is not surprising that she is among the few who does not fear the void. The worlds she explores may feature drops and unsteady ground, but beneath them: simply more world.

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Why should this be? While far from unique in today's digital landscape, consider the fact of Samus's sex: woman. La femme. To Freud, it was natural that the woman should experience "penis envy," a feeling stemming from a childhood realization of lack. Reversing this equation, later psychoanalysts such as Horney proposed that men experience "womb envy," and in doing so denigrate the functions of reproduction and nurturing which they are unable to participate in.

If we accept this hypothesis, then the preponderance of pits and their marked absence from the Metroid series becomes simple to understand. Mario, Link, Donkey Kong, and yes, even the male robot Mega Man all fear and envy the power of bodily reproduction. These protagonists covet this power for themselves even as they wish to return to the safety and oblivion of the womb, represented by the pit.

While Samus Aran's sex was not disclosed at the outset of Metroid, subtle clues were placed throughout for the discerning player. Most notably, the absence of pitfalls would alert a keen psychoanalytic mind to the reality of the situation. Their avatar was not a robot at all, but something else, something more familiar and yet more alien: a representative of Beauvoir's "second sex."


Contact Damage, the weapon of the unknowable

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As previously mentioned, here we are not considering the conscious foes overcome by our protagonists. However, we must be permitted to discuss one phenomenon associated with them -- that of "contact damage." For those foes who do not spit projectiles or engage in other means of direct attack, their only opportunity to harm the hero lies in simple touch.

In some cases, we can easily comprehend why contact with the foe might be unpleasant. Perhaps they are adorned with spikes, or else they represent some form of animate magma. But what of those enemies whose forms do not display such obvious threats? What of the Koopa Troopa, the Motobug, not to mention Inky, Blinky, Pinky, and Clyde?

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Again, the casual observer might point to the technical limitations of the day, arguing that to implement attack animations for each distinct foe was costly and inefficient at the time. But could it not be that something deeper is at play?

When Mario faces down the Goomba a the inception of World 1-1, he cannot touch it except to inflict harm, ending its tiny life with a stomp from the heavens. Why should this be? Perhaps Mario's inability to make contact with the others inhabiting the Mushroom Kingdom represents a fear of difference -- of the other.

Can we truly know the other? The phenomenologists tell us no, that your interiority must remain endlessly inaccessible to me and vice versa. Our attempts to know the other are rebuffed by the other's ineffable otherness. Mario attempts to touch the Goomba and receives only the pain of disconnection in return. Perhaps when the Mushroom Kingdom is restored, we can return to a primordial state of oneness. More likely not.


Drowning, the hedgehog's folly

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The alarming countdown announcing Sonic the Hedgehog's imminent death by drowning is undoubtedly familiar to all players. Mega Man cannot drown, as he is a robot. Donkey Kong, in tune with his natural world, is similarly immune to this environmental hazard. And yet no number of golden rings can protect Sonic from a watery end should he hesitate a moment too long.

Sonic is a part of the natural world, yet removed from it. He is cursed with knowledge, forced to rescue the blissfully unaware Flickies from Eggman's (née Robotnik) clutches again and again. His deepest, most secret wish is to return to this state--before the endless struggle, before life became complicated by the arrival of time-traveling hedgehogs and godlike entities inhabiting the core of his world.

Classic Video Game Weaknesses, Psychoanalyzed

Should Sonic not desire, then, to return to a time and place in which his world was small and safe, in which the burden of heroism was not yet placed upon his shoulders? To a place in which he was surrounded by the nurturing, liquid warmth of his mother's body? I speak, of course, of the womb.

Alas, none of us can return to that blessed place. Sonic knows this, yet tempts fate in the waters of the Aquatic Ruin Zone. Allow him this reprieve, if only for a few short seconds.

Crushers

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[laughs] The womb.



In cataloguing the obstacles faced by our video game friends, we better understand them -- their secret fears, their vulnerabilities, and yes, their desires. Perhaps, in doing so, we even come to understand ourselves.

What are some of your favorite video game obstacles? Which ones will you never forget? Which ones haunt your dreams, frustrating you even as some small part of you yearns to succumb to them? Let me know below in the comments.


merritt k hosts the podcasts Woodland Secrets and dadfeelings, and can be found on Twitter at @merrittk



15 Times Tumblr and The Last Jedi Were a Force For Good

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15 Brilliant Details You Might Have Missed in Star Wars Movies

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1. In The Last Jedi, Finn and Rose go on a mission to find someone to help them disable the First Order's "hyperspace tracking"

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As it so happens, in Rogue One Jyn Erso stumbles across "hyperspace tracking" while sifting through the Empire's plans

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via kyleauxren



2. Early in The Force Awakens, Finn tells Rey to fly low to the ground to avoid detection by TIE Fighters

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Later, when Poe and the Resistance show up to save the day, the X-Wing squads can be seen flying low, close to the water

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via Glennishill



3. Mace Windu chopping off Jango Fett's head was one of the more memorable moments of Attack of the Clones

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If you look closely in the shot immediately after the cut, you can see the shadow of Jango Fett's head falling out of his helmet

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4. In Return of the Jedi, in certain shots you can see Darth Vader holding two lightsabers. This is a byproduct of a deleted scene where Luke threw his weapon at Vader

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As the story goes, the original plan was to have Luke and Vader switch lightsabers for a time. That would make sense out of an early Return of the Jedi poster (back when it was still Revenge of the Jedi), where Luke can be seen wielding a red saber

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5. In The Last Jedi, Finn's jacket has been stitched up where it was torn by Kylo Ren's lightsaber

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via Gui1tyspark


6. When Rey is trying out her new blaster, you can see how inexperienced she is when she aims with the wrong eye open

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via mrdrewc



7. When Luke fires on the Death Star at the end of A New Hope, you can see the charred surface where the previous X-Wing pilot missed his shot

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via dcpanthersfan



8. There are numerous direct references to George Lucas' first film, THX 1138, hidden throughout the Star Wars series

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In The Phantom Menace, one of the droids has "1138" written on its back. Roger roger

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In A New Hope, Chewbacca is "transferred" from Cell Block 1138

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A slightly sneakier reference can be seen in the Hoth scene in The Empire Strikes Back, when Rogues 11 and 28 are called out

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It's tough to see in the movie itself, but if you zoom in on Leia's disguise in Return of the Jedi, 1138 is written on the side of her helmet

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9. Rogue One digitally re-inserted pilots from A New Hope (which takes place very close to the same time period), even going so far as to bring in the old actors to record new lines

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via MatiVoyager


10. Just before the General Grevious fight in Revenge of the Sith, you can see a droid nudge his buddy. "Hey dude, check this out, it's about to go down"

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via MatiVoyager


11. Also in Revenge of the Sith, you can see Obi-Wan's ship has a running killcount of the droid ships he's destroyed

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via youknowabitjonsnow


12. One of the cooler bounty hunters from The Empire Strikes Back is the murder droid IG-88, seen at the center here

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Funny enough, IG-88's head seems to be made of one of the props from the Cantina in A New Hope

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13. During the big space battle in Return of the Jedi, you can hear one of the Rebels yell "So long, dickheads!" as the Super Star Destroyer goes down. Seriously, it's there


14. This planet in Rogue One is an anagram for "Obi Wan"

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15. In Rogue One, we see the demise of a pilot designated Red Five

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As it so happens, Luke's callsign in A New Hope is also Red Five -- looks like he picked up a fresh job opening

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15 Funny Steam Reviews to Brighten Your Year

10 Black Mirror Memes That Will Terrify You With Laughter

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Black Mirror holds a mirror up to society similarly to the neighborhood horrors of The Twilight Zone, but with an emphasis on technology. It also tends to be much more depressing, regardless of the overall quality of each episode ("San Juniperno" now withstanding). 

Season (series) four of the beloved British anthology series debuted on Netflix at the tail end of 2017, and now that everyone is catching up, the internet's got some hot laughs ready to counteract all that techno doom and gloom. 


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Black Mirror Memes That Will Terrify You With Laughter

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12 Movies That Could Make 2018 The Best Year For Geek Movies Ever

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1. - 3. A Bunch of Potentially Great Marvel Movies

Movies That Could Make 2018 The Best Year For Geek Movies Ever

Okay, I'm going to start this list by cheating A LOT: the Marvel Cinematic Universe is releasing THREE films in 2018, and all within the span of about 5 months - February will see the release of Black Panther, May will finally unleash Infinity War, and we'll get the new tradition of an Ant-Man film to follow-up a status quo-shaking Avengers film again with Ant-Man and The Wasp. What's truly great is that each film has so much potential to be incredible - and in their own unique way, no less!


We've already written up why Black Panther looks like it could be a genre-defining film for the MCU here, but a few points are worth reiterating: this is really the FIRST big MCU film to come from a bonafide great director, Ryan Coogler, who delivered one of the most shockingly great rebootquels of all-time with Creed. Most MCU directors are genuinely amazing, but are usually somewhat unknowns - the Russo Bros. had been directing sitcoms and lesser Owen Wilson comedies, James Gunn was known for low-budget schlock horror, etc. Coogler is known for making award-winning, critically-lauded films - and now he has the keys to one of the most important figures in Marvel, and has an insanely great cast backing him up.

Then comes Infinity War - I'm not sure if I really have to explain what makes Infinity War so exciting, especially since it now holds the record for the most viewed movie trailer in Youtube history. This is the culmination of 10 years of storytelling (and dozens of films) for the previously-unprecedented Marvel Cinematic Universe, and - from all accounts - it looks like it's gonna be dope as hell. From one of the biggest casts ever assembled for a film to the assured hands of The Russo Bros. (who managed the equally challenging tasks of The Winter Soldier and Civil War), there's not much reason to doubt the film will deliver the goods - the biggest question that remains is whether the movie ends with a snap of Thanos' fingers?


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And the final big movie from Marvel this year is Ant-Man and the Wasp - the general reaction to the original Ant-Man was that it was a fun goof, especially coming immediately after the much heavier Age of Ultron. And the fun spirit of Ant-Man was something of a surprise, given it marked probably the first enormous behind-the-scenes challenge the MCU faced - the rocky departure of director/writer Edgar Wright a few weeks before production began, due to disagreements over the path of the script and the integration with the rest of the MCU. In a few weeks time, the script was hastily rewritten by star Paul Rudd and Adam McKay, and Bring It On director Peyton Reed was brought aboard to direct the film. Given those circumstances, everyone expected the film to be a mess - and while it wasn't anything revelatory, the final product was a pretty delightful bit of business, particularly thanks to scene-stealer Michael Peña:

What makes Ant-Man and The Wasp such an exciting idea is that with this film, the creative team won't have to deal with the same wild constraints that complicated things so horribly with the first one. They won't have to adapt someone else's screenplay in 6 weeks time - they can come up with their own plan, that fits their own vision, and execute it - that's exciting! Also exciting? This is the first Marvel film to have a female lead in the title - Evangeline Lilly's Hope van Dyne finally gets to become The Wasp (who was one of the original Avengers, nbd) and join in the fray, instead of being stuck at the sidelines for some weird reason.

And - like the original Ant-Man - after Avengers: Infinity War, a fun goofy Ant-Man movie will be a nice palette cleanser (especially if we see the introduction of Antony Jr.).



4. Aquaman

I know what you're thinking: "Why should I be excited for another DCEU film, especially given their unbelievably dismal track record?" And then you might also be thinking: "Also, why should I trust YOU of all people when it comes to thinking optimistically about the DCEU, especially given you were acting all hopeful and chipper about Justice League while all of your co-workers could see the trainwreck from a mile away?" And well...you bring up two very good points. I would say that I feel it's a little easier being optimistic towards properties I have a personal attachment to, and that there WERE reasons to suspect Justice League could be good (note: I did not enjoy Justice League after actually seeing it). But I've got some ACTUAL good reasons for being pumped for Aquaman - lemme tell ya:

  • Directed by James Wan. James Wan is a dude who can handle a big messy blockbuster. He directed Furious 7, which was beset by more issues than most people give it credit for with the death of co-star Paul Walker....and he still wound up delivering one of the best, most fun, and intensely emotional blockbusters of the last decade (if you're one of those types who STILL hasn't bought into the fact that Fast & Furious got amazing at Fast Five, I have nothing to say to you). He also took on The Conjuring and The Conjuring 2, some of the best mainstream horror movies of the past few years. Basically, this guy is a solid director who can set the mood, get great performances, and handle messy behind-the-scenes chaos (in this case, dealing with Warner Bros. executives).
  • It has an actual template. People tend to lump all superhero movies together as a single genre of film - and, until recently, they weren't really wrong to: for most of the late 90s and 2000s, superhero movies were largely similar in structure and execution and even tone. But as of late, lots of superhero movies have proven that they could fit into more traditional film styles while retaining what makes superhero-ing so fun. Captain America: The Winter Soldier was a political-thriller, Ant-Man was a goofy heist film, Wonder Woman and Thor were fish-out-of-water comedies, etc. And Aquaman is a swashbuckling romance - which Wan has compared to Raiders of the Lost Ark and Romancing the Stone, calling to mind films where a rough-around-the-edges hero (in this case, Arthur Curry - the whiskey-swiggin' Aquaman) gets roped into an adventure with someone who's less into him (in this case, Mera - soon-to-be Queen of Atlantis) and the two rub each other the wrong way, reluctantly help one another, and eventually fall in love. It's basically Han and Leia in Empire Strikes Back, except underwater.
  • Giant undersea battles where people are riding sharks.Wan's vision for the film includes enormous undersea battles that almost look like the kind of "things are happening in every possible direction" style of space battles in Star Wars, except instead of flying on ships, Atlanteans are riding sharks and whales into battle. And, honestly, I really, really want to see that and have it be badass.



5. The Incredibles 2

After 14 years of waiting, we're FINALLY getting a long-awaited sequel to Brad Bird's 2004 near-perfect superhero film, The Incredibles. Really, if nothing else, the movie shows 20th Century Fox how simple it is to make a great Fantastic Four movie (something they've screwed up THREE TIMES since). And while not a whole lot is really known about the sequel, there are a few sparse details: the plot will concern Mr. Incredible staying home and watching the kids while his wife Elastigirl is out patrolling the city and fighting crime, and one of the main villains will be The Underminer - aka the Mole Man knock-off from the stinger of the first film (a really nice surprise - it seemed like a jokey easter egg to finish the film and wink even harder at the FF inspiration. The fact they're actually following up on what seemed like an offhand gag shows Brad Bird probably didn't add in anything too lightly).

But also: it's Brad Bird doing an Incredibles sequel, does literally ANYTHING else matter?



6. Pacific Rim Uprising

 

Of all the Guillermo Del Toro movies of the past few years, Pacific Rim might have been the Guillermo Del Toro-iest: giant robots powered by friendship, bizarre and weird monster designs, Ron Perlman chewing scenery like there's no tomorrow, etc. What made Pacific Rim such a breath of fresh air in the world of blockbusters was that it had heart, sincerity, and GODDAMN GAINT ROBOTS USING BOATS AS WEAPONS AGAINST KAIJU. It was basically the kind of film every 12 year old dreams of making - except GDT actually did it.

Cut to a few years later, and now we have a sequel coming out - and there are some reasons to be skeptical. Guillermo Del Toro is no longer in the director's chair, we have a new main character, and the overall look of the universe has shifted to something a bit more colorful and weird. But you know what? That's okay. We have Stacker Pentecost's son leading the charge, anime references through the wazoo, and some implied twists on the ol' Robots vs. Monsters setup. But more importantly, we are looking towards a world where Guillermo Del Toro's vision of friendship-powered giant robots battling alien monsters is a big mainstream franchise - and that's a world 12 year old me AND current day me can be excited for.



7. Deadpool 2 (and The New Mutants)

One movie that is absolutely not going to be on this list is X-Men: Dark Phoenix. Yes, it comes out in 2018, and yes, it's adapting one of the seminal X-Men stories. But - after X-Men: Apocalypse - is anyone excited for more films set in the First Class-verse? Are you pumped to see Sophie Turner's flimsy accent tackle a story Fox already squandered once? Are you psyched to watch Jennifer Lawrence sleepwalk her way through another paycheck? Are you ecstatic to see what Fantastic Four writer/producer Simon Kinberg does in the director's chair?

I'm a little hard-pressed to say anything positive about that 'verse - but thankfully, Fox IS doing some exciting stuff with their X-Men properties (that aren't titled "X-Men", at least) - for this year sees the follow-up to 2016's breakout hit, Deadpool. A movie that repeatedly had its budget slashed, that no one in upper management believed in, that was only made after years and years of campaigning by its core creative team (and some fortuitous leaked footage) - and that wound up being one of the highest-grossing superhero films of all-time...despite (and thanks to) its R-rating. And now we get to see what they do with a higher budget, more scrutiny, and a few incredibly welcome additions (Josh Brolin's Cable and Zazie Beetz's Domino, amongst them). From the brief teaser shown before last year's Logan, they seem to have their sense of humor and wry sense of parody in-tact - now we just need to see precisely HOW MANY memes this movie can inspire.

Note: As a tack-on to this - The New Mutants! 20th Century Fox is doing something very exciting with its non-X-Men mutant properties, in allowing them to take whatever form best suits them. While Marvel dictates that pretty much every film be made for the same audience and continuity, 20th Century Fox is offering a slew of films and projects that can be for completely different demographics. The New Mutants is in the X-Men universe, sure, but it's a Young Adult Horror film - something FAR removed from what pretty much everyone else in the superhero game is trying. After Deadpool and Logan (and their unprecedented R-ratings), 20th Century Fox deserves some props for what they're attempting.



8. Mortal Engines

Lotta positives here:

  • The books are great, full of weird details and world-building and all sorts of sci-fi weirdness to enjoy
  • Produced and shepherded by Peter Jackson
  • The premise of a future where cities have become mobile to adapt to a post-apocalyptic wasteland is incredibly stupid AND incredibly cool

Here's the opening to the first book, in case you needed further convincing:

It was a dark, blustery afternoon in spring, and the city of London was chasing a small mining town across the dried-out bed of the old North Sea.

In happier times, London would never have bothered with such feeble prey. The great Traction City had once spent its days hunting far bigger towns than this, ranging north as far as the edges of the Ice Waste and south to the shores of the Mediterranean. But lately prey of any kind had started to grow scarce, and some of the larger cities had begun to look hungrily at London. For ten years now it had been hiding from them, skulking in a damp, mountainous, western district which the Guild of Historians said had once been the island of Britain. For ten years it had eaten nothing but tiny farming towns and static settlements in those wet hills. Now, at last, the Lord Mayor had decided that the time was right to take his city back over the land- bridge into the Great Hunting Ground.

It was barely halfway across when the look-outs on the high watch-towers spied the mining town, gnawing at the salt-flats twenty miles ahead. To the people of London it seemed like a sign from the gods, and even the Lord Mayor (who didn't believe in gods or signs) thought it was a good beginning to the journey east, and issued the order to give chase.

The mining town saw the danger and turned tail, but already the huge caterpillar tracks under London were starting to roll faster and faster. Soon the city was lumbering in hot pursuit, a moving mountain of metal which rose in seven tiers like the layers of a wedding cake, the lower levels wreathed in engine-smoke, the villas of the rich gleaming white on the higher decks, and above it all the cross on top of St Paul's Cathedral glinting gold, two thousand feet above the ruined earth.



9. Isle of Dogs

Another stop-motion film from Wes Anderson is generally enough to pique the interest of most people, but one centered on a sci-fi concept of a near-future Japan overrun with dogs that wind up sent to a quarantined island (and also the dogs can talk)? HELL YES. Especially when you consider the mind-boggling voice cast the film boasts:

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10. Ralph Breaks The Internet: Wreck-It Ralph 2

Wreck-It Ralph did something that hasn't been achieved since Who Framed Roger Rabbit? - take an artform, and lovingly parody it and pay homage to it in an authentic, meaningful way. Who Framed Roger Rabbit? did it for cartoons, and Wreck-It Ralph did for videogames. It wasn't the first piece of entertainment to play with the iconography and tropes of gaming (Dorkly was, Dorkly was the first, don't let anyone tell you different), but it may have been the first to do it right (except Dorkly, of course). And it managed to do it while telling a clever and sweet story, and was amongst the first films to herald Disney Animation's resurgence (right around the same time Pixar started stumbling).

It would have been extraordinarily easy to make Wreck-It Ralph 2 just go a bit deeper into the world of gaming and dig into some of the tropes and genres left out of the first movie - but the filmmakers decided to get a bit more ambitious, and decided to tackle online gaming, the internet as a whole, and dig into some serious meta-commentary with Disney, including appearances by every major Disney princess, as well as characters from (Disney owned properties) Star Wars and Marvel.

The only real bummer is that the title they went with is genuinely terrible - especially when they could have called it Super Wreck-It Ralph instead.



11. Venom

Okay, I will be the first to admit the idea of a Venom movie that doesn't include (nor likely even mention the EXISTENCE OF) Spider-Man sounds like an unbelievably bad idea. The idea is so bad, in fact, that I previously predicted the entire idea of this movie was made up and fake and just a way for Sony Pictures to appear to be wringing some value from their ownership of the Spider-Man film rights in order to be acquired by another company for a higher price.

But what if this turns out great?

It's got Tom Hardy in the lead, which is good. It's got Michelle Williams as She-Venom, which is good (and completely insane). It's rumored that Riz Ahmed will be portraying Carnage, which could be cool? The film is rated R, which is a good sign as well. And, again, Spider-Man will not be mentioned in any of this. The movie is going to be INSANE. Almost none of this actually makes sense - until you see this, at least:

Yes, that's Tom Hardy (as Eddie Brock) awkwardly trying to hide the Venom symbiote in his car without anyone noticing, like this is an episode of Frasier from some dark, unknown universe. Are they going to awkwardly mash together slapstick comedy with unspeakable gore (if they're going the Carnage route) and produce what may be one of the weirdest comic book adaptations in a long time? VERY POSSIBLY.



12. Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse

Speaking of the weird stuff Sony is doing with their Spider-Man rights - they're also launching an animated Spider-Man franchise centered on Miles Morales (and presumably including the death of Peter Parker) one year after relaunching the live action franchise with Spider-Man: Homecoming. For most nerds, the distinction is clear and obvious - but it's important to remember general audiences are much more easily confused, and probably will be a little weirded out by two different Spider-Men having ongoing film franchises simultaneously. In short, it could be a risky move...but it looks like an amazing one.

For one, it's written by the team of Phil Lord and Chris Miller, two of the most spectacular individuals in Hollywood - who keep jumping on projects that seem (on paper) like terrible ideas, only to execute them beautifully and turn them into classics (Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs, 21 & 22 Jump Street, and The Lego Movie). That alone would be enough to have me sold on whatever this movie ultimately ends up being, but a few more things to keep in mind: we've only seen the Peter Parker iteration of Spider-Man on the big screen for 6 movies in a row, across 3 separate franchises. We saw Tobey Maguire, Andrew Garfield, and Tom Holland all do their takes on what is essentially the same character. And while I love Peter Parker with all of my heart, the world needs some Miles Morales right now.

Additionally, the animation looks gorgeous - almost like a Kubo-esque rendering of stop-motion mixed with CGI. And, based on the title, it seems to indicate we're going to see an adaptation of the comic event Spider-Verse, which saw versions of Spider-Man from across the multiverse join forces to battle evil. It's silly, but it's one of the better big Marvel events of the past few years (and even makes the awful "totem" spider mythology stuff bearable) and could be ridiculously fun to see on-screen, depending on licensing and rights (the comic event included Supaidaman, 60s Cartoon Spider-Man, Marvel vs. Capcom Spider-Man, and more).

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In short: BRING IT ON, 2018.

6 More D&D Horror Stories So Cringey You Might Ragequit Life

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While Tabletop Gaming is one of the most social and exhilirating ways to spend a Saturday afternoon, there's also a darker side to a hobby that often requires absolute strangers and limitless fantasies.The community at reddit's r/rpghorrorstories board have gathered together to share some all-too-real tales of DnD disasters. Keep in mind that some of these anecdotes get DARK so if you're sensitive to unpleasant subject matter, you might want to scroll past this and maybe check out some of our less emotionally draining D&D posts instead?

1. 

edgelord

Story by ZatherDaFox

I've played with plenty of edgy characters in my time, from people who were doing it on purpose to be funny, to those who thought they had actually made awesome characters. But never in my life have I met such an edgy character as now...

First we go over powers. She elects to take blood powers. Not just any blood powers mind you; no, she pulls blood from her wrists to make weapons. I cringed a little, but I didn't think it was that bad. (Spoiler: it's that bad)

We flesh out the rest of her stats and get to choosing skills. There is no set list of skills in the system, you can pick anything as long as it's a narrow enough field and it makes sense. She picks torture and interrogation. Yeesh. At this point, we still haven't seen the character leap off the deep end, but now I can tell we're dealing with an edgelord.

But now the player starts describing her backstory. And by describing, I mean commands the next hour of the game telling us about it. And good lord is it a doozy. To save you the trouble, I shall paraphrase: Her brother is some kind of sadist who kept her locked in a barred room after her parents dies when he was 4 and her character was 2. And apparently her parents were 18 when they died. Her brother also prostituted her, abused her, and sold her into slavery at points. And she had an abusive uncle who sexually abused her. And she was basically starved at the time. And the government knew but wouldn't help because they were afraid of her powers. And she was experimented on so now she's infertile.

It was like listening to a concert of nails on a chalkboard. And the real kicker? Apparently, this character is 12. But now we get to personality. Obviously, someone who went through all that would be broken beyond repair. And to the player's credit, she did play her as a little broken. But only a little. She can still mostly function in normal society, even though she's never had any psychiatric help. But she's also obsessed with blood and death, and is optimistically suicidal, but never acts on it. She's the type of cringey character that smiles and giggles when talking about macabre stuff, you know the type.

You think I'd be done by this point, but there is still yet more that happened. The player must have a real sense of one-up man-ship, because any time anyone tried to bring up something bad that happened to them, she would add something similar but worse to her backstory. Like, my character avoids alcohol because his father was an alcoholic and would beat his mother. Oh yeah? Well her character's brother straight up forced her to drink so now she's a 12 year old alcoholic. If nobody was bringing up backstory stuff, the player would just randomly add more things to her awful backstory and tell us about it in character, interrupting whatever we were doing.

But then we get to the absolute worst part of this character: how she openly antagonized our characters and said the dumbest shit. Like, she wanted to go at 11 o'clock at night to speak to the mayor. I said "No, the mayor's probably in bed." She proceeds to hit me with a line about how I must be the most useless superhero to ever live. I mostly dismiss it, being that my character is a 35 year old man, and he knows that this is just a 12 year old venting her frustrations. The player, noticing she didn't get a rise out of me, proceeds to rag on my character with hers for a good 15 minutes of actual game time. At the end of it all, she drops one of those cringeworthy "Are we really even the good guys?" lines. At this point, I'm fed up as a player. But I know the best way to counter is by keeping my composure in character. So I say something along the lines of "Look, I know you think you're being all deep and profound, but you're 12. So why don't you go to bed and stop saying stupid things." as calmly as possible. The 12 year old then leaves to vent her frustration into the night.

This pattern continued throughout the session. With her trying to piss my character off, and my character being coolly dismissive, since she's, y'know, 12. The player got upset and eventually stopped since I wouldn't take her "masterfully crafted" character seriously, but the session mercifully ended there.

 





2. 

Story by PrinceMatita

be me a forever DM finally being able to play after like a year of DMing

Tiefling Bard because I love to sing.

we're traveling to defeat an Orc War camp outside the capital

easypeasylemonsqueezey

battle ensues much song, dance, inspiration, and heat metal

gets surrounded by orcs

ruh-roh

the DM tells me to make an opposed grapple check

natural 1

The orcs turns roll back around I'm expecting 5 attacks at advantage.

But no. that would've been too normal.

I'm asked to make another opposed grapple check rolled a 3, WOO the DM hops on mic and says... "The orcs rip your clothes off, you're now naked and grappled."

Is...is he trying to rape me? the discord went silent for a legit 2 minutes.

Me: "wait really?" DM: "Uh yeah. They're orcs." Me: "I don't think I like this dude." DM: "They're orcs if you don't like my world you're free to leave."

The sound of four people dropping out of discord pings throughout the call.

RIP being a player lol.






3.

Story by wyldnfried

I DMed this. 2nd ed.

Problem PC meets the other PCs for the first time, and as his opening interaction fondles the female wizard, asking her for "services."

I'm about to say something but she says "Sure take off your pants."

He does so

Wizard: "Burning hands"

Me: Huh. Well, that didn't kill you, but you have painful blisters on your genitals. Roll system shock (he has like 2% chance of failure)

PPC: makes roll Oh well, I guess I'll go soak in a bath.

Wiz: I'll get it ready for you. hands me note: Saltwater

PPC: Ahhh...

Me: Actually the saltwater stings your seeping blisters... Roll system shock. Anything else?

PPC: makes save I guess I'll just masturbate.

Me: With your salt-encrusted and blistered genitals? System shock

PPC: Rolls one.

Me: You are overcome by pain so severe it kills you. You have died from masturbation.

 

4.

Story by TapSInSpace

So a friend and I hung around for a bit and finaly, two guys came to us and introduced themselves as writers who wanted to try and sell their brand new RPG, that I would'nt be able to name for the love that all is holy. We talked a bit and we agreed to give it a try, so we followed them to a table where 2 other guys and 2 empty seats were waiting for us. Then, they explained their concept.

In that world, aliens had invaded the earth, and all the powers of the world tried to resit them. Every PC went from a land that managed to survive and repeal the invaders, and the overall theme was... anime-ish, for a lack of a better term. Among 5 players, I only remember 3 of the characters. Which were: a female russian spy that was proficient with any kind of weapon (in fact she had some kind of grenade launcher in her left arm), a blue-haired 12 year old loli girl with her mech (kinda like a young D-Va from Overwatch) and mine, a canadian lumberjack who wielded an impressive wood cutting axe and chugged mapple syrup like some kind of magic potion. Overall all in good fun.

Yeah, it was stupid. But this mindless setup and the simplicity of the rules made for a great game overall and we had that night a genuine nice time. We battled some monsters, some enemy mechs; we managed to infiltrate an old nuclear plan that the aliens had running again, where weapons were made. And we fought our way to the core of the facility. And then, we saw it.

I have to stop there and describe our group and our mindset. Around this table were two guys that wanted to sell their game; two guys that were waaaaay too much into the anime spirit and my friend and I, who both kinda liked the genre. I hate to say it but the two other guys where absolute cliches. Neck-beards, dark shirts with hieroglyphic metal band names, one of them even had a fedora. So the table went this way: the writers multiplied the anime cliches just so the other two guys would squeal with delight; while my friend and I foloowed the lead, amused and intrigued. We had a nice time, really. Until we saw what was hiding in the core of the plant.

I'll remember all my life the slimy grin that appeard on the face of the player who played the loli in her mech when the game master described the creature that was facing us. In french, it was called an "octobite". In english, that would be a "cocktopus". And so, the shark had been jumped. We were not playing in anime-land anymore; we had reached the moist and slimy shores of Hentaiburg. The creature was swinging his massive dongs around (which I could have found funny when playing with friends and a little inhibriated) and crawling alond the walls to get to the mech. The player literally suicided his character when the young loli decided to jump right at the thing, who stopped the attack quite easily and got the girl out of her combat suit. And yes, you know what happenned there. Four people we did not know, at 4am on a sunday morning, just played the rape of a young girl by the tentaculous monster in a crowded area, laughing their hearts out. And that's where we cringe-quitted. My friend and I bailed out and left the table, pretexting to need to get some sleep, and let them end the session.

To this day, I still remember the cold shivers that went down my spine when they started to describe in great details what was happening to the character. Oh god. Never again.

 



5. 

Story by drschwartz

Ok, I'll share a story worthy of a cringe or two.

For background, I came to table top rpg's in my early 20's. I played with several groups of friends during college and generated no horror stories. However, I would soon find out how insulated my rpg experience had been.

I had moved to a new city and joined a meetup group to scratch the itch to game. Unfortunately, all the ongoing games aren't accepting new members so my only option outside of waiting for a vacancy to appear is to go to One Shot Wednesday.

Well, let me just say that One Shot Wednesday's attracted an eclectic mix of personas. Meeting at a local diner, you had an honest smattering of most nerd stereotypes with a healthy salting of neckbeard. Whatever, who am I to judge?

I join a game called Lady Blackbird and receive a pregen female character Naomi. Loyal slave bodyguard to the eponymous Lady Blackbird, sounds cool, I can work with that, right? Well, that's when the first red flag sprouted up with a player at the table, Diminutive Balding Man (DBM), loudly requesting to play the character of Lady Blackbird. None of the other players are especially desirous of it, so the DM shrugs and hands it over.

Well, if you're guessing that DBM as Lady Blackbird attempted to seduce multiple PCs during the game, you'd be right. If you guessed they tried to seduce enemy NPC's during active combat, you'd be right too. If you thought that there was any action which came before "seduce" in their toolkit, you'd be wrong. It was literally the first, second, and last thing he would do.

So such behavior has consequences, yes? Oh yes, I and another player got creeped out sufficiently in and out of character that we legitimately cut ties with Lady Blackbird in game. For my part, after the first time Lady Blackbird put her hand on my thigh (seducing your slave warrior?), I made sure to establish my character as an a-sexual creature divorced from intimacy and agreed to fight a horrible monster in exchange for a release from servitude (because a literal monster is better than a soft touch from DBM...)

So this parade of in-game sexual harassment goes on for several hours. The DM is finally getting sick of DBM's portrayal of Lady Blackbird as some sort of manic pixie whore slumming around the galaxy on a mission to have meaningless sex. DBM is trying to negotiate with a higher-up in the local slave market, a man who literally buys and sells humans for any purpose including sex work, and DBM whips out his signature move by rolling to seduce the official. DM asks for DBM to roleplay this out which I will paraphrase: "Hmm, umm ok. Well sir, if you could be kind enough to give us everything we want for reasons, I could offer you a--and he pauses dramatically--a blowjob."

DM face palms while the entire table just stares at this guy. DM looks up and says, "That is not seduction, roll negotiation."

We didn't finish the one shot in that session, I did not return for the second. Also, saving the best part for last, DBM's wife attended the meetup as well. Where was she for all of this? Sitting next to him of course, watching the whole event without a peep.

6.

Story by Combustible-Mango

In highschool I was part of a 3.5e campaign with a bunch of guys who were really awesome, bar one detail which would eventually ruin everything.

It begins with a joke at the table; one guy, James farts badly mid game to which another guy, Michael says "James casts stinking cloud". Being immature boys, we found this hilarious; our DM however, found this so funny that he subsequently made the homebrew rule that ruined everything.

The rule went that every PC now had access to a modified stinking cloud effect. This was done by giving every PC 'gas points' which the DM tracked, these built up over time or by eating and drinking (it was a bit disturbing how much thaught he put into how different things effected these points), let these points build up and you start to take negative effects. The only way to clear these was by declaring '[character name] casts stinking cloud' and rolling a d20 and a d6 every so often which would depending on the number of gas points and the rolls would determine the severity, at this point the DM would break down laughing and give a crude description.

We soon discovered that releasing at higher severities had effects which were useful in combat (including meaningful damage and stun effects), so we would abuse this by having our barbarian (who could for some reason build points quickly) charge in and detonate and then the rest of us would mop up whilst the cleric patched up the barbarian.

This all ended when celebrating in the tavern after a hectic battle. Our warrior hadn't noticed how much he'd been holding in until being informed that drinking had put him at very near capacity. He farts then and there, rolls a natural 20 and a 6.

This turns out to be the armageddon fart. The DM begins to describe in graphic detail, a fart so bad as to melt the innerds of the warrior and the chair he is sitting on (don't ask me how that works) and how as the smell quickly touches the rest of us; we all drop dead and the tavern collapses (again don't ask me how that works).

Thus was the end of the campaign, TPK'd by a fart.

 

8 "Reylo" Comics Dedicated to Star Wars' Most Controversial Ship

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Star Wars: The Last Jedi has inspired many online debates and hours of fanboy conversations about plotting, pacing, and the morality of fictional universes... but in other corners of the Internet the film unleashed a power more potent than the Dark Side of the Force, THE SHIPPERS. 

After being just one of many factions in the Star Wars shipping community, the REYLO (Rey+Kylo Ren) shippers have been seemingly vindicated by Rian Johnson and Co. and have been doing a victory lap across social media to celebrate their #1 unproblematic fav couple (except maybe they're cousins and one's a super big murderer). Here's 8 fun fancomics where these two young force-sensitives have found true love.

As always, if there's a comic you particularly enjoyed why not click on the artist's name and follow them on social media. If we've made an attribution error (or effed up in any other fashion) send an email to jake.young@dorkly.com.

1. "So how did you two meet?" by KSArt-Things

kylo ren tumblr comic reylo





 

2. "What are you doing here?" by Erica Yu

star wars last jedi kylo ren rey eylo shipping tumblr comics

rey kylo en last jedi force awakens disney fan comics funny romantic anime

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3. "Talk to Me..." by Ila Fox

Shirtless kylo ren sexy star wars comics rey luke skywalker finn

 


4. "Mastery" by ladyllex

rey the force lifting rocks

 


5. "Can You Feel the Love Tonight?" by gwendy85

Obi Wan Kenobi Old Luke Skywalker anakin skywalker

lion king disney star wars

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6. "The Last Fry" by Mariló Delgado (buy prints/merch at Society6)

Rey vs Kylo Ren comic fan comics

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7. "In Your Eyes" by janainafaraujo

Boom box rey reylo kylo ren unbreak my heart

 






8. "Jakku Girl" by dc9spot

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The McDonald's Alignment Chart Meme Perfectly Describes Every Character You Love

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It's 2018, and one of the first big new memes is percolating - the McDonald's Alignment Chart, which takes fictional characters and lumps them into three main categories (based on how they would react to a kid yelling "MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS!" in the backseat of a car):

  • Responding with "We have food at home" (aka 'The Responsible Parent' Archetype)
  • Join in on the "MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS!" chant (aka 'The Immature, Easily Excitable Child' Archetype)
  • Pulling into the drive-thru as the children cheer and coldly ordering a single black coffee and leaving (aka 'The Cold, Cruel Troll' Archetype - and inspired by a great John Mulaney bit)

The basic idea is that every fictional character in every franchise can be lumped somewhere between these three extremes - and based on the examples people have made so far, they're not far off:





1.


2.


3.

https://thelcsersclub.tumblr.com/post/169264739352/thelcsersclub-im-open-to-constructive

 




4.

http://ghostlores.tumblr.com/post/169209537893/discussion-thread-is-open

 


5.

http://bluestar3445.tumblr.com/post/169235838370/these-are-the-facts-right-here

 


6.

http://fassbender.co.vu/post/169205570756

 


7.

https://nzagul.tumblr.com/post/169237644188/you-know-i-had-to-do-it-to-em

 


8.

https://sleepybyers.tumblr.com/post/169244883190/thoughts

 


9.

https://actualcyclops.tumblr.com/post/169176511667/for-ur-humble-consideration-bnha-school

 




10.

https://nzagul.tumblr.com/post/169237641818/and-thats-the-tea

 



11.

http://phoencountered.tumblr.com/post/169205817082/heres-a-meme-based-on-this-discuss

 



12.

https://sonicshank.tumblr.com/post/169221115692/4-am-alignment

 

10 Real Life Things That Work WAY Different in Movies and TV

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As the most media-saturated generation to ever live, it's kind of embarrassing to admit just how much of our understanding of the world around us is shaped by movies and TV. Even as you enter adulthood there's so many assumptions we take for granted just because they're ubiquitous cliches in almost every form of fiction. But over on the r/askreddit board the users were given a simple question that had surprisingly eye-opening answers...

"What thing done in real life is nothing like it is done in the movies?"

Here's 10 responses that gave us a real bad case of the thinkies:

1. 

Getting shot In movies, its just a flesh wound Slap a cork in the hole, and youre fine Eh, nope Getting a hole punched through your body aint so harmless Also, bad guys DO practice at the firing range If a hero charges into a base full of bad guys with machine guns, hes gonna die Also, I bet a lot of those bad guys have families reddit iwannabeacat
via Iwannabeacat

 


2. 


via hockeysauce

3.

hackers office job
via DaughterEarth

 



4.


via Bingo_Hall_Floozy

 

5. 

Sex They never use protection, theres no mess, no changing of positions, they go right to sleep nope permalinkembedsavereportgive goldreply SayNoMoreMonAmor 53 points 19 hours ago God dammit I didnt see this answer in time My answer is similar, but with chlamydia
via Ocula





6.

JendayaMedoh 59 points 21 hours ago Strangling someone in movies takes less than a minute, way different than real life
via JendayaMedoh

 


7.

HealyHQ 155 points 22 hours ago Fight scenes with literally any kind of weapon, but especially bladed weapons Movies choreograph their sword fights to look as cool as possible, when in reality their display is very inefficient Real sword fights dont last very long and are boring to watch as a result Also, the victim of a stab wound wont typically die quickly Bleeding out takes longer than in the movies And someone wouldnt just silently slump over and die, theyd be screaming bloody murder the whole time
via HealyHQ

 



8.

Litigation I have yet to see a movie get it actually correct With good reason, too, since its not nearly as exciting as TV and movies make it seem
via Fuego_pants

 

9.


via TheCondor8

 

10.

chloroform is not fast acting reddit funny askreddit posts
via drug-bunny

 

16 Geeks Who Are Using Their 3D Printers To Go BIG

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1. Soul Edge Sword by Ricardo Salomao

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3d printing gaming gamers soul edge

 


2. BvS Power Armor Helmet by Stefanos Anagnostopoulos

batman v superman dawn of justice helmet prop

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3. Bullet Bill / Banzai Bill figurine by Martin Moore

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bullet bill banzai bill toy 3d printing my mini factory

 



4. BATTLE MOPS cosplay weapons by Marco Antonio

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5. Skyrim Iron Helmet by Mvsmaker

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6. LED Glowing Firelink Greatsword by Shady Tsang

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7. FF7-style Low Polygon Deadpool by Block Sprites

Final fantasy 7 deadpool marvel square

 

8. Nintendo Switch Joy-Con Cupholder by Artobot

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9. Spooky Star Wars Skulls by Paul Braddock

death trooper star wars zombie print

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10. Bloodborne Saw Cleaver by Juan Jose Vizcaino

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11. Tracer's Pistols (Overwatch) by Simone Fontana

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12. Mario Pixel Power Moon Night Light by Justin Shook

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13. Warhammer 40K Bolt Pistol by Robert H. Abazyan

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14. Waldo Figure by Drivernator

wheres waldo funny 3d printing

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15. Fallout T45-d Power Armour Helmet by Daniel Lilygreen

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fallout cosplay helmet

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16. Full Size Master Sword (w/Scabard) by Lloyd Roberts

Legend of Zelda Nintendo master sword

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10 Reasons 'The Last Jedi' Kicks Ass

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The Last Jedi has been one of the most divisive films in geekdom in a long time: the fans have offered up high praise on the film, saying it's a breath of fresh air to a withering franchise and manages to make it feel re-energized - while the naysayers are crying that the franchise is dead, the groundwork from the previous film wasted, and classic characters have been ruined. And as the weeks go by, I've seen more and more of the naysayers' criticisms taking root online - trying to cement the perception that the film was a misfire and a step in the wrong direction.

Let me just say: I humbly disagree. The Last Jedi whips ass. 



1. It took care of all the necessary Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi parallels

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One of the most spot-on complaints about The Force Awakens is that it is largely a beat-for-beat remake of the original Star Wars (or, as absolutely no one calls it, "A New Hope") - orphan hanging out on a desert planet, dreaming of better things; gets swept into a grand adventure with a scrappy group of rebels fighting against a big, scary militaristic force; loses their elderly mentor; helps destroy a planet-eradicating superweapon, etc. The Force Awakens was fun and did a good job establishing the new trilogy's characters and their relationships, but it certainly didn't break any new ground as far as storytelling goes.

And, to some degree, the same can be said of The Last Jedi - but with a twist. Yes, the majority of the action parallels Empire in a lot of ways: no superweapon, rebels on the run from the Empire, last ditch retreat from AT-ATs on a white powder-covered planet, new ally who becomes a traitor, and the main character separating from the rest to go train on an isolated planet with weird, grumpy older mentor, etc. But it does something a little surprising towards the end - Rey confronts Kylo and tries to turn him towards the Light Side, and her torture at the hands of his master (and leader of the bad guys) causes Kylo to break and kill his master. That's straight up the ending of Return of the Jedi (in a nutshell), which takes care of the major parallels from the Original Trilogy - leaving Episode IX plenty of freedom to try out some new things.

The Last Jedi presented us with something totally new AND took care of all the pesky story beats it had to deal with - that's DAMN impressive.



2. Kylo Ren sets the bar for villains higher than his stupidly high pants

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Speaking of the parallels, it's right after that ROTJ mirror moment that the movie really starts setting itself - and its villain - apart. Kylo turns on Snoke, but doesn't turn to the Light Side. He's done with "sides" - he wants to be himself, without labels...but mostly, he wants Rey to join him. Kylo is deeply, deeply insecure, angry all the time, and frightened. He doesn't know what to do with this power inside of him - and he's spent the last several years simply lashing out at everything and anything that reminds him of what he was supposed to be. He figures Rey could be a balancing force in his life - here's someone ELSE who has the same power within them, who also is deeply unsure of what lies in their future...maybe they could help each other?

That's a huge departure from any aspect of the original trilogy - Vader never truly showed any real hesitation or weakness until the final moments of watching his son being tortured by his boss. But Kylo Ren does - he's a raw nerve, and every move he makes has an air of unpredictability around it. For a series that has become all too predictable, we need more characters like Kylo Ren to keep things fresh.

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And, uh, take off their shirts to show off their hot bods.



3. Troll Yoda returned to set things right

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One of the joys of Yoda's initial appearance in Empire is how WEIRD and UNEXPECTED it is. For many of us, the movie is so familiar that we forget that Yoda's introduction is a major twist - all we've heard is that Dagobah is home to an ancient, wise Jedi Master who can train Luke in the ways of the Force. Up until this point, the only Jedi we've ever seen is Obi-Wan Kenobi (and, sorta, Darth Vader) - we're expecting another bearded, well-spoken human...and we get a goofy dyslexic goblin muppet.

It's that first part - "goofy" - that is really so key to Yoda's impact. He doesn't behave the way we expect a "Jedi Master" to - he's giggling all the time, he's crawling around looking for snacks, he's making fun of Luke, etc. He's being WEIRD AS HELL - which is what makes Yoda so great. He's a weirdo who also just so happens to be extremely wise and intelligent. This aspect was lost somewhat in the prequels, where he was the Yoda we were expecting before we actually met Yoda - filled with gravitas and deathly serious at all times. And, man, it was boring.

But The Last Jedi sees the return of Force Ghost Yoda, and he's retained his goofy trollish nature - he laughs at Luke's seriousness and delights in burning down the most sacred Jedi monument in existence, because who cares? If you don't have a sense of humor about yourself, you might end up going crazy and exiling yourself to a crummy island planet with a bunch of lizard nuns!

Oh right.



4. Porgs are good as hell and I will fight anyone who says otherwise

Porgs are good as hell - complaints that they're cutesy forced additions akin to Ewoks are totally misguided and wrong. The key difference is that Ewoks figured hugely into the plot of Return of the Jedi, while Porgs are just pleasant window dressing. They never influence or affect the plot in any meaningful way, but they give Chewbacca some fun business to deal with in the midst of Rey's more serious training sessions and Kylo Ren Mind-Skype calls. They have a few funny bits with a lightsaber and during the Battle of Crait, but the film never pushes them too far or gives them any goofy action setpieces (honestly expected them to get involved in some major antics, like the Droid Factory sequence from Attack of the Clones).

No, Porgs are essentially just some fun window dressing who also give Chewbacca something to do in-between acting as Rey's intergalactic chaffeur - on top of being a fun bit of trivia regarding the behind-the-scenes production involving an island overrun with puffins. What's not to like?!



5. No more Snoke!!!

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One of the more contentious choices amongst the fandom of Star Wars was the killing of Supreme Leader Snope in The Last Jedi - many felt Snoke's story still felt incomplete, and his death meant the abandonment of some potentially rich lore that was set up in The Force Awakens. Was Snoke actually Darth Plagueis? What was he up to during the prequel trilogy? How was such a powerful Force-user hidden during the original adventures of Luke, Leia, et al? The answer: WHO CARES?

Snoke was the most egregious example of copy+pasting from the OT - a semi-deformed elderly evil master who has a big throne room and acts all ominous towards his subordinate. And like the original trilogy, it didn't matter where he came from or what his story was - no one REALLY cared where Emperor Palpatine emerged from or anything, because he was such a stereotypical stock bad guy that it didn't invite any indication of nuance or rich backstory. The same goes for Snoke - he's a goddamn cartoon character, even in the world of Star Wars. But the nice thing is that his death opened up a WORLD of possibilities.



6. Captain Phasma continues to be the most trolled character in Star Wars history

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I'll be honest - I was a little perturbed by the role Captain Phasma played in The Force Awakens. After being built up in the marketing materials as a formidable character and antagonist to the main crew, Phasma (played by Gwendoline Christie) wound up with only a few minutes of screentime, during which she did absolutely nothing cool or badass and was only there to get completely owned. It was the Boba Fett joke taken to the extreme (reminder that Boba Fett doesn't actually ever do anything interesting or badass in the OT, and during his one opportunity, he fucks up and gets bumped into a Sarlacc Pit by a blind guy). At least Boba Fett had the decency to wait until his second big screen appearance to get turned into a joke - Phasma did it in her first outing.

And despite being shoved into a trash compactor and left for dead on an exploding starbase, Phasma returned in The Last Jedi...for, like, mayyyybe 2 minutes. And during those 2 minutes, all she accomplished was losing all of her stormtroopers, getting bashed in the face, and falling into an exploding pit of debris. At least there was a tiny shred of dignity in her fate in TFA - we didn't actually SEE her get shoved into the trash compactor. Here, the film allows the mockery of Phasma to be complete, as we see Finn kick her ass and send her to her death, without having done anything cool or interesting.



7. The Force is weird and unexpected and cool again

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The Force was originally beyond simple explanation - only able to be summarized in broad, vague, philosophical terms. Things it allowed individuals to do were always surprising and weird and cool - it let Obi-Wan mislead the minds of Stormtroopers, it allowed his physical form to vanish in an instant, it let Vader choke subordinates from afar, and it allowed Obi-Wan to communicate with Luke, even after death. As Obi-Wan described it:

The Force is an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us, penetrates us, and binds the galaxy together.

But after Empire, the Force became...mundane. After Force-Ghosts were introduced (and even that just seemed like a bit of an extension of Obi-Wan's Force-Voice from the end of A New Hope), the Force didn't really seem to have any other tricks up its sleeve. And the Prequels took things in the opposite direction, literally explaining exactly what the Force was, and removing any sense of awe or mystery from it.

The Last Jedi, on the other hand, allows the Force to do some weird stuff - the mental connection between Kylo and Rey is amongst the film's best moments, and Luke's life-draining astral projection is something I genuinely did not see coming. And the best part is that - while each of these elements were unexpected and weird - they were totally fitting with the idea of an energy field that surrounds and penetrates it. The Force isn't just moving rocks - it's about the connections between all life, no matter the physical distance between them.

Also, now we know Force-Ghosts can shoot lightning at stuff, which opens up some SERIOUS questions about why Ghost Obi-Wan was just hanging out on Dagobah so much instead of blasting lightning back at Palpatine.



8. Poe + BB-8 ship is going strong

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Let's get down to the TRULY important part of Star Wars in the 21st century - SHIPPING CHARACTERS. The Force Awakens had folks shipping Poe and Finn pretty hard, along with some mild Rey and Kylo. And while the Rey and Kylo shipping stuff becomes pretty explicit in TLJ, Poe and Finn don't exactly sizzle - largely because Finn has a new love interest in Rose, but also because the two are separated for a good chunk of the film.

And also, because TLJ reveals the most important ship of this trilogy is Poe and BB-8.

Looking back at TFA, it seems so obvious - Poe is constantly so concerned and attached to little BB-8, and his emotional reactions to the little ball droid are so much more intense. And in TLJ, upon Finn's return to the Resistance, Poe's first reaction is the safety of BB-8. In the initial battle against the dreadnaught - who's got Poe's back? Who's there to jam their heads into a bunch of complex machinery? BB-8 gives Poe the best head he possibly could.

So you can all keep your Reylo ships and your Huxlo ships - I'm shipping BB-Poe.



9. LIGHTSPEED KAMIKAZE!

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Listen, logically, this is all baffling - Holdo's lightspeed kamikaze attack into Snoke's mega-ship is a moment riddled with questions:

  • If this kind of pinpoint attack were possible, why hadn't the rebels been pulling this shit since the original Death Star? And the Death Star Mk. II? And Starkiller Base?
  • How is ONE PERSON able to steer the ship so effectively? Why would they even need a bridge crew to navigate?
  • Why wasn't this Leia's big finale? Surely knowing she wouldn't be back for Episode IX, the team could have used some editing tricks and a few special effects to make this Leia's grand finale - sacrificing herself to save the rebellion - instead of giving it to Holdo and then having Leia die off-screen between films.

Despite this, the moment is AMAZING. When the audience and Hux both realize - oh shit, this is ACTUALLY GOING TO HAPPEN, HUH? - and then it does and there's just dead silence? It's INCREDIBLE. People in the theater started clapping! And especially in this film, when we had repeatedly been seeing our heroes fail over and over, it was nice to have a straight-up moment of badass victory.



10. They can FINALLY DO THE THING I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR STAR WARS TO DO!

Again - there really isn't a blueprint for where to go with Episode IX. The confrontation in front of the evil master and the attempt at redemption for the bad guy have already happened - so the door is wide open for Episode IX to do some weird, unexpected things with the plots and the characters. but there's one big thing I've always wanted to see that might actually be possible now:

Force Ghost Luke haunting Kylo Ren. The last thing Luke (or, Luke's Force Projection) said to Kylo was that if he attempted to strike him down, he would be with him forever (just like his father). Kylo DID try to strike him down...but failed, since it was just a projection...but also kiiinda succeeded, because that projection sucked up all of Luke's lifeforce and killed him. The long and short of it is that it seems VERY likely that Luke will return as a Force Ghost in the next film - and we might see something completely new: a Force Ghost haunting someone who doesn't want them there. The common wisdom would have Luke hanging around Rey and continuing to mentor her - but what if Luke's ghost hangs around erstwhile Ben Solo - taunting him, prodding him, and trying to bring him back to the Light Side? After all - there would be absolutely nothing ol' Kylo would be able to do about a ghost haunting him, safe from all forms of physical danger. Hell, we even made a video about how this should have happened back in Empire:

A wiser, more confident Luke haunting Kylo Ren and trying to bring back Ben Solo is all I could dream of from this trilogy. It seemed likely that the one to bring Kylo back from the brink of darkness would have been Leia - but with the death of Carrie Fisher, there would be no way to complete that arc without resorting to some nightmarish CGI and awkward voice-acting. But this solution could be even better - fully complete Luke's arc by having his ghost work to correct his gravest failure, all while showing us something truly new and interesting (especially now that Kylo is without a mentor, he needs SOMEONE to run up against, and General Hux is too clearly subservient to create any meaningful tension with him).

Basically, Star Wars HAS to turn a Dorkly Bit into the final, canonical major plotline for Luke Skywalker. That rocks.






Also: the acting is stellar across the board, Mark Hamill's journey as an embittered and lost Luke is so genuinely interesting and cool BECAUSE no one saw this coming, Daisy Ridley is giving us a new wide-eyed hero to root for (and really selling the 'need for connection' angle that made me seriously think she might be willing to join Kylo - creating a tension that was never really there with Luke/Vader), Kelly Marie Tran's Rose is such an emotionally raw and complex character that I want to see her interactions with EVERYONE now, John Boyega's Finn is so unbelievingly lovable and endearing and I want to see him and Rey being Best Buds again so badly, and Carrie Fisher's final bow as Leia gave us everything we could have hoped for (except resolution to her story, but oh well).

The point is - this movie whips ass. For the first time in a long time, I'm excited for the possibilities Star Wars holds. New things! More Porgs! Poe falling further in love with BB-8! Finn and Rey having a nice platonic friendship! Finn and Rose f***ing hardcore, 24/7! And Force-Ghost Luke haunting Kylo Ren, wearing those stupid enormous pants he was wearing.


This Artist's Pokemon Redesigns Makes Us Want An Aztec Pokedex

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Over on his tumblr page cosmopoliturtle.tumblr.com Canadian digital artist Harris Fagotto has been transforming Ken Sugimori's classic creature designs with a bright graphic makeover. Combining elements of decorative art styles from around the world (everything from Aztec to Tibetan Bhuddist Scrolls) these colorful revamps give the collectable monsters the mythic proportions they rightfully deserve. 

If you dig what he's throwing down, consider picking up a print of his work or check out his portfolio site to see if he's accepting commissions.

1. Torchic, Combusken, and Blaziken

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2. Rotom

Rotom Form redesigns pokemon





3. Ekans and Arbok

team cket pokemon anime redesign



 

4. Wooper and Quagsire

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5. The Eeveelutions

eevee vaporeon jolteon flareon

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6. Koffing and Weezing

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7. Bidoof and Bibarel

pokemon aztec redesign

 



8. Giratina (Altered Forme)

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9. Porygon, Porygon2, and Porygon-Z

porygon remix esign remake pokemon

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10. Articuno, Zapdos, and Moltres

articuno legendary bird trio nintendo pokemon tumblr redesian fanart

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11. The Oddish Line

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12. Happiny, Chansey, and Blissey

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13. Bonsly and Sudowoodo

bonsly sudowoodo redesign pokemon remake fanart fakemon

 




14. Girafarig

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15. Mewtwo

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16. Munchlax and Snorlax

snorlax

 



17. The Zubat Family

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18. Swinub, Piloswine, and Mamoswine

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19. Lotad, Lombre, and Ludiculo

ludiculo grass type pokemon psychic redesign art challenge

 



20. Snorunt and Glalie

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You can follow Harris online at facebook.com/cosmopoliturtle

20 Gaming Memes That Will Help You Recharge Your Stamina Meter

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via ItNeverEnds-_-


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via sirferrell


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via tforpatato


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via Odieology


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via KentuckyThumbpicker


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http://retrogamerblog.com/post/169247468161


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via _DeanRiding


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via pianoboy8


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via nicolaugoncalvez


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http://srsfunny.net/post/169513617866/be-like-capcom


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via I_D_G_A_F_


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via Dwragone


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Gaming Memes That Will Help You Recharge Your Stamina Meter

via Mathewtomb


14 People Who Missed the Joke So Hard They Might Be Broken Inside

The Internet Is Embracing the Triumphant Return of Funky Kong

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You'd think that the news of Dark Souls Remastered coming to the Switch would be the biggest news to come out of the most recent Nintendo Direct, but some folks that's not the case. Alongside a few other ports of old games, Nintendo revealed that Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze will be arriving on the console/handheld hybrid some four years after it was originally released on Wii U. What's more, a bonus mode would for the rerelease includes a playable Funky Kong. 

Yes, Funky Kong is basically just Donkey Kong with sunglasses, a bandana and cutoff jorts, but there's something so irresistibly genuine and earnest about his Poochie-esque 90s 'tude. Twitter quickly latched onto this announcement, and it more or less instantly became a meme. 



1. You have to understand, some fans are kind of overwhelmed by the idea of replaying a great game with a great character


2. Believe it or not, Funky was kicking around in the conversation even before this most recent reveal


3. Now that Funky has been re-exposed to a larger audience, many people's first instinct is to protect him


4. The Tropical Freeze box art on Switch has a classic corner tear to show off the new features of the game. This was quickly edited into an easily Photoshoppable PNG for future use


5. And so, a meme was born. The official DOOM account was one of the first to get in on the action


6. By now, pretty much every game imaginable has been combined with "New Funky Mode"


7. It works extraordinarily well with Dark Souls Remastered, just announced for Switch


8. Funky Kong slips right into the Dark Souls Universe


9. It's like he was sitting at Firelink Shrine all this time


10. That's not to say the concept can't be improved upon


11. Okay, maybe this is too far


12. "New Funky Mode" has officially joined the pantheon of classic add-on memes


13. If there's one thing to take away from all this, it's that we shouldn't repeat past mistakes




15 PUBG Memes for People Who Know What PUBG Means

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